Anyone who knows anything about me knows that bhangra is a huge part of my life although I've never danced on a team. For years I've gotten criticism and doubts over this passion of mine. Some may laugh and say I'm trying too hard to fit in to a scene I don't belong in and some may say I think I feel as though I'm too good to dance on a team. The truth is, I've ALWAYS wanted to dance, but life got in the way. I started off my college career at a school that didn't have a bhangra team and as time went on, I realized that I simply couldn't dedicate myself to practices because of other things in my life. I thought that if I was going to join a team, I should be fully committed and I knew this wasn't a possibility at the time.
My love for bhangra first began in middle school. I had just moved to a new town and just as I had been my whole life, I was a loner. As if that wasn't enough, I quickly became the "weird new girl". I have to admit, I was a really awkward child and I don't think I'll ever get past my 'awkward stage', but I'd like to think I've improved at my socializing skills over time. Anyways, as the school year went on, the bullying got worse and so did my loneliness. I would run home from school and lock myself in my room for the rest of the afternoon to waste my time on Youtube. One day, as I was browsing different videos, I came across performances by various bhangra teams. One thing led to another and within no time I was imitating the steps to the best of my abilities. I realized as time went on that bhangra had turned into my escape. I dreaded waking up every morning, but started to gain hope as I knew that once I got myself through the dreadful school day of more loneliness and getting picked on, I would be able to forget all of my troubles and do something I truly loved.
I had never been so passionate about anything before. Soon, bhangra turned into the one aspect of my life that pulled me out of depression. No matter how terrible I was, I was completely dedicated to learning as much as I could. I was so obsessed that multiple times throughout middle and high school, my parents had to resort to banning me from doing bhangra for days at a time when I got in trouble. Over the years, I managed to make amazing friends and do other things that make me happy, but bhangra always held a special place in my heart for making me happy when I thought I would never smile again.
Since those days bhangra has always been a huge part of my life. I can honestly say that bhangra is the main reason why those scary horrific thoughts I would have every night disappeared.
People will always make assumptions as to why I love bhangra so much, and that's fine. I'll always get criticized for not joining a team and that's also fine. The truth is that whether I'm on a team or not, whether I'm performing or not, whether there's someone watching or not, bhangra will always be my getaway. For me, it will never be about winning a trophy. It has been, and always will be, about my own happiness whether I'm watching a performance or on stage myself.