They Say We Can't Be Happy
These past few months have been an absolute roller coaster. Everyone's telling me they admire how strong I'm being but they don't realize that I don't have a choice.
They tell me not to cry, yet they're the ones crying.
They tell me I can get through this yet they're referring to my mom and I as "bechari" (Poor thing).
They tell me my Dad will always be with me, yet they talk about how my Dad left me alone.
I'm told that I have to take care of my mom and be the man of the house, yet they tell me that I'm a child and I don't know anything.
In a world and culture where elders are respected and openly voice their opinions, you can't really say much back. You realize how hypocritical people are when you're put in a similar position to what I'm in.
At the end of the day your loved ones want the best for you, but you need to think for yourself.
People are telling me to cry, not to cry, be strong, remember my dad, make him proud, take care of my mom and so many other things. Some keep bringing up the fact that my dad is gone. Others act as if he never left. It's not an easy situation to be in.
What does one do when they're given advice from opposite ends of the spectrum? In one ear and out the other. What I've realized ever since my dad passed away is that all that should matter to me is what my Dad would want and what's best for my mom and I. Not to say I don't appreciate everyone's love an support, but it's impossible to take every single persons advice.
I don't sit at home and cry. Yes, there are times when I miss my Dad and end up crying. There are times when I feel like the world around me is crashing down and I have no way to escape. BUT I always pick myself up. People die and loved ones leave you but LIFE GOES ON. The world will not stop moving because I lost my father and I for one don't want to get left behind.
People are telling my mom she can't wear red and orange because she's now a widow. I tell her to rock those colors in front of those people on purpose. Just because she lost her husband and I lost my father doesn't mean that we have lost our right to be happy. I hate how in traditional Indian society a woman's life revolves around her husband. My mom is her own person. Yes, she was my father's wife and the mother of his child, but those are not the only titles she holds. She is a hardworking, strong and fun loving woman and NO ONE is allowed to tell her otherwise. If they do, they need to come deal with me first. It's not the end of the world. LIFE GOES ON whether you like it or not.
Today after speaking to a girl named Jassi on Twitter who lost her father last month as well as a few friends who have lost loved ones throughout the past few months I've realized that I'm not alone. And to anyone else who's recently lost a loved one, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You're stronger than people may think and people will always be there to talk when you need them.
I will forever be my Dad's "Sher Putt" and no one can tell me otherwise.
RIP Dad. 10/01/1951-08/22/2014