Sick and Tired

I'm sick and tired of

people thinking that learning to cook is more important than my career.

I'm sick and tired of

everyone being friends with me for the wrong reasons.

I'm sick and tired of

people not taking me seriously because of my age.

I'm sick and tired of

people saying that my hard work will never amount to anything.

I'm sick and tired of

people thinking my love for bhangra is all an act.

I'm sick and tired of

everyone thinking that the South Asian entertainment industry is only for men.

I'm sick and tired of

trusting the wrong people.

I'm sick and tired of

being taken advantage of because of my kindness.

I'm sick and tired of

people assuming that my job is easy.

I'm sick and tired of

my family underestimating me.

I'm sick and tired of

my sister being halfway across the world.

I'm sick and tired of

some people taking advantage of my weaknesses.

I'm sick and tired of

some other people thinking they can take shots at me and that I have no feelings.

I'm sick and tired of

constantly having to prove myself.

I'm sick and tired of

being people's "therapist".

I'm sick and tired of

having those same people I help turn away when I need them.

I'm sick and tired of

being constantly treated like a child.

I'm sick and tired of

being too nice to people.

I'm sick and tired of

being bitched at when I've done nothing wrong.

I'm sick and tired of

being misunderstood.

I'm sick and tired of

wasting my breath giving advice when asked, when in the end they'll just disregard it.

I'm sick and tired of

people pretending to care.

I'm sick and tired of

not being able to realize who's fake and who's real.

I'm sick and tired of

people telling me how to step up my professional game but not having anyone to give me the push I need.

I'm sick and tired of

empty promises.

I wasn't trying to be poetic or anything I promise! And for those of you who care I'm not depressed or sad or being a dukhi aatma or anything along those lines. This is just some things that I've been dealing with that I just had to vent about.

Life is a learning process and for a while now I've been learning about who's real and who's not. I've had countless people try to befriend me for my so-called "connections" (I really don't have any so they're just stupid). I've had plenty of people use my shoulder to cry on who have disappeared when I needed them and plenty of people who just come to me when they're looking for some sort of attention. Don't get me wrong I genuinely love to help people, but sometimes it becomes a bit much. If you're going to constantly come crying to me about the same situation  and ask for my advice but don't take it, there's only so much I can do. I've realized that a lot of these people are just looking for attention. Everyone has their needs, that's cool. BUT constantly having to worry about other people's problems is just way too exhausting, then I wonder why I never have time for myself

One lesson I've learned : Being a bit selfish is never a bad thing.

If you're helping a friend with a situation there's nothing wrong with supporting them or being there for them, but don't forget about yourself. Don't do so much for others that you become overwhelmed with things that you have to take care of for yourself.

In this indsutry, everyone will take. They'll take your contacts, ideas, advice and anything that can benefit them like free promotion or sponsorships. Very rarely do people give back. Many people are the best actors and can be very sneaky but it's not long before they show their true intentions.

As nice as I am and as much as I try to help others I've realized that I need to look at my benefit in every situation. What am I getting by helping this person promote their event, or what am I getting for getting someone in contact with an artist or a sponsor? As much as I hate to do this, no one is going to help me or give me anything in this industry unless I take it myself. Specially because of my age people think they can get me to do things for them for free like promote their event or business, or MC their event. It doesn't work like that. This industry has unfortunately taught me that I need to be selfish. Of course there are times when I will go out of my way to help someone who has been genuinely helpful and honest to me, but for those I barely know, they should not expect much from me. I'm honestly done stressing, sacrificing time with my family and my relaxation time for people who will not even give me so much as a 'thank you' in return. Make time for the friends and people who make time for you. Realizing all of this has helped me throw many un-needed people out of my life.

Once again I swear I'm not a dukhi aatma.

To those friends who have truly and genuinely been there for me, I love you. This is just to show girls feeling left out that you're not alone. The world is a cruel place, but it's up to you to change it into positive motivation to reach your goals. I'm not upset that I've dealt with this stuff like most people do, it's made me a stronger person. I was gullible and oblivious and now I'm learning about the real world getting ready for the next step towards reaching my goals. I'm super content with where my life is right now and I just want everyone else to feel the same way :)